What to do when guys stare at you

So you're on the subway and this cutie in the seat across from you will not stop staring. Your mind immediately starts racing with potential explanations for their behavior. When you catch a guy staring at you, what is he thinking about? Sadly, there is no one answer for what he is thinking when a guy stares at you (or when anyone stares at you, for that matters), but experts say this could definitely be a sign they’re checking you out.

According to relationship expert and author Susan Winter, someone who likes you will often give you more than just a passing glance. "There's a depth of contact that doesn't occur in a casual glance," Winter previously told Elite Daily, adding that if they "hold the gaze a bit longer than is normal," this may mean that they have a strong desire to connect.

Staring at someone may not be able to tell you everything about a person, but when someone stares at you, there’s a pretty good chance they’d like to get to know you better. As dating and psychology writer Sasha Aurand previously explained, staring at potential mates can help people decide whether that person is a good fit... even if their findings aren’t based on anything besides a gut reaction. "We look into other's eyes to determine things like perceived level of trustworthiness and to gauge their emotions, perceived intelligence, and even try to figure out their sexual orientation," Aurand previously told Elite Daily. "All of which can quickly help us to decide if we are compatible with this person.”

Not sure whether someone is checking you out or staring because you have something on your face? Next time you wonder, “Why does he stare at me so intensely?,” you should keep an eye out for these very telling signs.

Their Pupils Are Dilated

When someone is looking at you with interest (or perhaps even longing), you’ll notice that their pupils may become dilated. As love biologist Dawn Maslar previously told Elite Daily, "When someone is sexually attracted to another, their pupils become very large, sometimes taking up more than half the pupil area.” If that person who keeps looking at you has majorly dilated pupils, then there’s a chance this means they like what they see.

They Try To Catch Your Eye

Someone who likes you might intentionally try to catch your eye, which means they want your attention. Relationship and etiquette expert April Masini said this is something a shy person might do to make a connection. "They will look for you, so watch for eye contact," she previously explained. "They’ll smile at you and try to connect without speaking up."

They Look Away When You Catch Them Staring

As well as trying to catch your eye, someone who plays eye-tag with you is likely attracted and wanting to chat. "Maybe you are in a crowded area and notice someone looking at you,” Maslar previously explained. “When you look, they turn away. However, moments later, you notice they are looking again." While looking away might seem like a bad sign, the truth is that they know they just got caught openly gawking and probably feel awkward about it.

Staring can be intense, and you may feel like you know someone better after holding their gaze. However, Aurand said this perceiving feeling of closeness is usually just based on physical attributes. "We infer all of these things without actually knowing if any of it is true," she explained. "We think they’re attractive and similar, so we’re more attracted because they’re attractive and similar — all without actually speaking to the person."

But even if that attraction you feel to the cutie who’s staring is largely physical, there’s no harm in striking up a convo if you’d like to take things to the next level.

Experts:

Susan Winter, relationship expert

Sasha Aurand, dating and psychology writer

Dawn Maslar, love biologist

Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.

This article was originally published on 04.24.17

Psychology has made many attempts at decoding the different types of stares and what they might tell us about the emotional state of another person. While this is subjective and rather intuitive, we are here to tell you what it means when you catch a guy staring at you. Whether it’s those glancing at each other down the corridor or letting your eyes linger for a second more, there are so many ways one could simply flirt with their eyes.

A gaze in a crowded room, a moment of lingering eye contact while you’re both amongst friends or a playful wink sent your way – they’re all bound to leave you wondering, “When a guy stares at you what is he thinking?”

With there being over a million interpretations of what their facial features could possibly mean, let’s try to answer the primary question that we find ourselves wondering about. Join us and read on as we tell you what he is thinking about when you catch him staring at you.

What Does It Mean When A Guy Stares At You?

When a man stares at a woman intensely, understanding what’s going on in his mind can be both incredibly easy and difficult. It’s pretty straightforward since it’s almost a given that he finds you physically attractive. It’s confusing because nobody’s too sure of his next steps, except him.

On the other hand, if it doesn’t seem like the flattering kind, you’re probably going to ask yourself, “Why does he keep looking at me?” And chances are, you’re just going to want for it to end. The point is, when it feels like you’re in an uncomfortable spot, you probably are. Keep your distance and make your boundaries clear from the get-go to avoid any further complications.

But if it feels like there’s something exciting brewing here and there’s a hint of mutual attraction, you’re probably looking forward to answering questions like, “What does it mean when a boy stares at you?” We’re here to tell you that the inner workings of his mind no longer have to be kept a secret, since we’re here to uncover them.

What does it mean when a guy stares at you and looks you straight in the eye? Or when he’s looking at you and your friends tell you he’s checking you out? Let’s take a minute to understand what does it mean when a guy stares at you, so you can tell the difference between a friendly gaze and a lustful one.

1. When a man stares at you, it means he finds you attractive

When a guy stares at you, what is he thinking? In the not-so-complicated intricacies of his mind, he’s going, “Wow, she’s pretty.” The signs he likes you start from his eyes, and are not that hard to catch. Even if you haven’t caught him and the people around you have told you what’s been going on, take it as a sign.

His next steps, however, completely depend on the kind of person he is and the situation you’re in. If he’s the bold kind, he’s going to go full Hollywood and send over a glass of wine (if men like that still exist, that is). If he’s the shy kind, he’s probably waiting for you to look back at him with a smile.

The point is, whether you’ve got questions like, “What does it mean when someone stares at you when you’re not looking,” or “Why would a guy stare into your eyes when he walks past you?” The answer in most cases is that he finds you attractive and would like to start up a conversation with you. Why not give it a go?

Related Reading: Eye Contact Attraction: How Does It Help To Build A Relationship?

2. When a guy stares at you what is he thinking? It might just be situational!

When a guy stares at you and doesn’t look away, it doesn’t always have to signify sexual intent. In some cases, the place you’re in and the context of the situation can define everything. For example, if you’re in an office meeting and you’re the one currently speaking, he might just be looking at you intently since he respects your input and is really trying to pay attention to what you have to say.

If a guy stares at you and then looks away, maybe he’s just analyzing everyone in the room. If a guy stares at you and smiles, maybe he’s just trying to be friendly if you’ve both met for the first time in a professional environment. Before you assume anything, make sure you take into consideration the context of the situation.

However, if you’re in a meeting and you can’t help but think, “He keeps looking at me from a distance, does he want something?” it’s easy to get confused about what his intentions might be. Though the situation calls for some eye contact, he seems to be making more eye contact than what’s required. In such cases, don’t rule out sexual intent.

3. He’s trying to flirt

When a man stares at a woman intensely, of course, the complete opposite of the previous point can be true as well. This will especially be the case if he’s looking at you with a vivacious smile (something you can only know when you catch him staring at you). So when you ask yourself, “Why does he stare at me so intensely?”, it’s entirely possible he wants to come and chat with you as well. Plus, if he does it right, flirting with the eyes can be a very effective trick.

So, when a guy locks eyes with you and doesn’t look away, know that he’s probably a very confident man trying to give you the works. Let’s just hope, for his sake, that his tactics are working. Because if they aren’t and he won’t stop staring at you, things are going to get creepy very quickly. By then, you’ll be left asking, “Why does a guy stare at me like that?!”

4. He’s trying to gauge what’s going on in your mind

Picture this: You’re in a group of friends and he’s trying his best to be funny. Not only is he rolling out his best material and trying extra hard but he’s also looking at you after every single joke he cracks. When a guy stares at you and smiles in such a situation, he’s definitely trying to figure out if he’s succeeding in his efforts to charm you.

“I catch him looking at me then he looks away, it was like he was trying to peep into my mind,” Janice, a 23-year-old reader told us. “As it turns out, that’s exactly what he was doing. I asked a mutual friend why this guy keeps staring at me, and she told me it’s because he’s trying to see if he’s making me laugh or not!

“He keeps looking at me from a distance, but at least now I know what it means,” she added. In other instances, like looking at you through a crowded room, he may be trying to understand the kind of mood you’re in. If he’s a friend, his assessment might just be spot on. When a guy stares at you and doesn’t look away, especially when you know him, he might just be trying to unravel the mystery that is your mind.

5. When a guy stares at you, what is he thinking? Miscellaneous possibilities

Though you want your knight in shining armor to come and sweep you off your feet, it’s possible he’s just staring at you because he finds your face familiar and he’s trying to remember if he knows you from somewhere. In other cases, he might just be trying to look at something right behind you and you happened to believe he’s looking at you.

He may be looking for company, he might be looking for a friend, he might be thinking about how much you look like that friend of his. As we said, the answer to what does it mean when a guy stares at you in the eyes truly rests in his brain. However, it’d be a good idea to trust your gut on this one. The difference between a sexual gaze and a friendly/curios one is pretty obvious, all you have to do is take a look at the signs he secretly likes you.

Now that you know what might be the reason he stares at you, it’d do you some good to understand what he’s thinking when you catch him staring at you. Since you’ve caught him, his reaction to that and the facial expression he had can tell you all you need to know.

“I’ve noticed him looking at me before but he’d always look away every time I tried looking in his direction. All he has to do is turn his head from his cubicle and we can make eye contact. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want him to but he always looks so shy. When I realized that this guy stares at me when I walk by, I knew exactly what was going on in his mind,” Becky tells us.

In Becky’s case, it was pretty obvious what it means when a guy stares at you, then looks away. Children and adults engage in looking at something they want with longing eyes and a yearning heart. When our relationships get more complicated, it becomes essential to figure out what exactly they mean. So when you catch a guy staring at you, this is what he could be thinking.

It is very common for men and women to stare at people they have an interest in, either intentionally or otherwise. Thinking about someone who is right in front of you might make you stare at them without realizing it. However, the other people would often come to notice even if you don’t.

If you’re the one he stares at and you want to figure out what it means, the expression (or lack thereof) he has on his face can give you a lot of information. Don’t worry if you’re stuck there because we’re here to help you through. We’ve laid out the following scenarios to help you understand what it means when he looks at you like that.

Related Reading: What Men Notice About Women On Their First Date

1. What does it mean when a guy stares at you with no expression?

Sometimes, when we are deep in our thoughts or are experiencing a spiral, we tend to fixate on a particular something or someone and get lost in our own worlds. This might be the case when a guy stares at you with no expression. Sharing a personal experience though, I have often noticed guys being afraid of their feelings and not being able to accept their emotions as they truly are. They keep swirling in self-doubt and asking themselves if they really do love someone. What’s more, they’re often unsure in relationships as well.

If you’re still wondering and asking yourself what does it mean when a guy stares at you with no expression, be a little more observant this time. Notice how long he stares at you. Try to wave your hands in front of him and if he notices you and gestures back, voila! He was looking at you after all. If he doesn’t seem to notice, it is possible that he was just in fact in la-la land.

2. What does it mean when a guy stares at you from a distance?

Have you been noticing someone looking at you from afar? Do you often feel like someone’s had their eye on you? While that sounds borderline stalker-like, a lot of men tend to keep their distance as they find you attractive or irresistible. Looking into someone’s eyes is a bold move that not everyone can pull off.

Some tend to be in the shadows because they’re shy and cannot express themselves easily. It is possible they often need a sign of reassurance from your end and would only publicly express their interest in you then. So what does it mean when a guy stares at you from a distance? While you must always beware of the weirdos, we believe that if a guy stares at you from a distance, his interest in you is obvious. He is probably waiting for you to make the first move.

So, when a guy stares at you what is he thinking? In this situation, know that he’s definitely either too shy to approach you or just lacks the courage to do so. Do what you will with that information, at least you now know what’s going on in his mind.

Related Reading: He Is Not Into You – Don’t Waste Your Time!

3. Does he often look at you and smile?

It isn’t uncommon to find someone looking at you and smiling to themselves. According to us, this is the most adorable form of lovingly looking at someone you have an active interest in. A lot can be said about a guy’s emotions by the way he smiles at you or smiles when he is staring at you.

Do his eyes reflect the smile on his lips? A lot of psychologists believe that the eyes seem to convey much more than the smile does, in itself. While a guy smiles at you, notice if it lights up his eyes too. If it does, it shows that the guy is genuine. His emotions are probably pure and he has your best interest at heart.

He neither wishes to run along and speed things up nor wants to hide away and leave things up to fate. He trusts in the universe’s timings but wants to let you know that he would always be there for you even if he does not make a grand gesture to put his feelings out there. Given the context, when you catch the guy staring at you, this is what it means.

4. When you catch a guy staring at you and he doesn’t look away, he isn’t afraid!

Contrary to the shy ones, there are people who fall in love and are not afraid to look into the eyes of their special ones and admit the truth. Their eyes do most of the talking anyway. These men are worth the wait. Admit it or not girls, we all wish for someone who wouldn’t be afraid to own up. When they do, we’re definitely not pondering, “When a guy stares at you what is he thinking?”

When you catch a guy staring at you and he doesn’t look away, it means he is ready to show that he is interested and is here to stay. It could also be a sign of flirting where he indicates his romantic interest in you. If he doesn’t look away while you look at him, hold his stare and see where it goes. Things are about to take a turn.

Having someone stare at you even after being caught is sensual and allows your adrenaline to run as fast as it can. Keep your calm and test the waters before you jump right in, regardless of how happy you might get when a man stares at you.

5. This is what it means when you catch a guy staring at you and he looks away

What do you do when someone suddenly catches you doing something you shouldn’t be doing? You panic and don’t want to establish eye contact, right? When you catch a guy staring at you and he looks away, that is exactly how he feels. He is probably trying to hide his embarrassment of being caught. But if this has been happening quite a lot in the recent past, there is a huge possibility that this guy is into you.

He has probably not accepted his feelings for you yet and therefore doesn’t want to be caught but he cannot help looking at you over and over again. In most cases, a part of him wants you to notice him as well. My friend, Mia, explains how her boyfriend Ron, would glance at her every now and then during their university lectures.

Mia told us how that was the turning point in their friendship. She began to realize his feelings for her when she caught him staring at her only for him to look away. “This guy stares at me when I walk by!” she exclaimed. Little did she know, he was waiting and trying to build up his courage to spark a romantic conversation with her. Once she returned his gaze, the sparks started to fly.

If you’ve found yourself in a similar situation where you’re saying, “I catch him looking at me then he looks away,” it may be worth a try to strike up a conversation with him. If you’re interested in doing so, that is. Just make sure you don’t start out with the cliched pick-up lines and you’ll be good to go, since he’s already smitten by you.

Related Reading: 25 Ways To Know If A Guy Secretly Loves You, But Is Too Shy To Admit It

6. What does it mean when a guy stares at you without smiling?

Having someone stare at you could be quite intimidating and overwhelming. If this person exhibits no warm emotions, it feels worse. It is tough to decode a person who wishes to hide his emotions completely but don’t worry! There’s always a way.

If the guy is one of those who wish to adopt a “tough guy” persona, it could be annoying to answer the question, “When a guy stares at you what is he thinking?”. While being impolite or rude to anyone is unforgivable, you should keep an eye on the way he behaves around you and other girls. If you’re wondering what does it mean when a guy stares at you without smiling, notice his body language.

Say he refuses to talk with his eyes or smile, he would definitely convey something through his gestures. If his body language changes for the better around you, if he looks out for you when no one does, congratulations! You’ve got yourself a “bad” boy in love. Instead of asking yourself, “Why does he keep looking at me?” you can now ask yourself what you want to do about this situation instead.

7. What does it mean when he stares at you and his pupils dilate?

A very scientific way to ascertain someone’s interest in you is by noticing the little things that the body does involuntarily when we find something interesting or irresistible. A lot of psychologists have understood the positive relationship between the dilation of the pupil and their interest in someone.

When we stare at something we find ourselves getting attracted to, we tend to stare longer. While the duration is significant, another popular way of determining their interest in you is to see if their pupils dilate when they look at you. If yes, they’re definitely interested. If you’ve been wondering, “Why does he stare at me so intensely?” and you can notice his pupils, you know what’s going on in his mind.

8. What does it mean when a boy stares at you and winks?

If you’ve got yourself a guy who looks at you and winks, you’ve got the extremely flirtatious kind, a player perhaps, just waiting to stir up some trouble in your life. By trouble, we don’t mean that he’s going to do something wrong, we mean that he’s someone who has already thought of what his next steps are.

When he winks at you, you’re probably not thinking, “When a guy stares at you what is he thinking?” since you already know what’s going on in his head. He’s going to talk to you, he’s going to flirt, and he’s going to try his best. Rest assured, if you’re asking yourself, “Why does a guy stare at me and wink?” The answer is almost always that he’s trying to flirt with you.

9. What does it mean when a guy looks at you and compliments you?

When a guy locks eyes with you and doesn’t look away and compliments something about you, you’ve got yourself someone who is supremely confident and did not hesitate to start a conversation with you. Such a situation usually only happens in appropriate locations like parties and get-togethers, since he’s so clearly coming on strong.

Needless to say, his intentions here are very clear. Unless his compliment isn’t, “You’re such a good friend to me,” he’s definitely not looking for something friendly. He wants to impress you, and maintaining eye contact while he gives you a compliment is his way of doing it.

10. What does it mean when a guy looks at you but doesn’t talk to you?

Questions like, “Why would a guy stare into your eyes when he walks past you?” or “What does it mean when someone stares at you when you’re not looking?” are all bound to cross your mind if you’ve got a guy who looks at you but never talks to you. In such situations, he’s probably what they call a “shy guy,” or it’s also possible that he has no interest in talking to you.

Assess your relationship with him, assess his personality and think about the place you’re in, and you’ll have all the clues you need to help unravel this mystery. Is he your superior, is he a man of few words, and are you at work? He’s probably just wondering when you’re going to hand over that file to him.

So what is a guy thinking when he stares at you? Typically, a guy would stare at you if he has any sort of romantic interest in you. Logically, we do not engage in long stares when there are platonic feelings involved. It usually hints at a feeling of longing. Maybe they yearn to connect with you and talk to you about how they feel and are afraid to do so. However, don’t always keep hanging around waiting for them to make the first move. Go ahead and take charge!

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