What does it mean if you say um a lot?

It is difficult for me to watch political speeches. After all, I know that I am going to hear one alarming word over and over again. It’s not “debt,” “deficit,” or “downturn.” It’s “um.”

Índice Show

So, like, why am I saying “um”?
Removing “um” from your vocabulary
Can’t seem to shake the habit? Ask for help.
We say um to fill what we think is uncomfortable silence.
A pause for you as the speaker is unfathomably long.
For the audience it’s breathing space.
By saying um we take away the audience’s opportunity to digest our words - and respond.
Cue your audience to your respond
Um is never just about Um

Filler words like “um” may seem natural in everyday speech, but they do not belong in formal presentations or speeches. Powerful public speakers work hard to eliminate words such as “um,” “uh,” “well,” “so,” “you know,” “er,” and “like” from their vocabulary so that their listeners can focus solely on their message. Through practice and persistence, you can too.

So, like, why am I saying “um”?

Why do we use filler words? The simplest answer is that we have been conditioned to answer questions immediately from an early age. When our mother or father asked us a question, we were sure to answer right away—either because we wanted to show respect or because we were afraid of what would happen if we didn’t answer. Consequently, we feel the urge to speak when spoken to.

Some people argue that filler words serve an important purpose such as making a speaker sound more “natural” or “real.” In fact, Michael Erard wrote a book on this very subject. But just because filler words are fairly common in everyday speech does not mean that they are useful. In fact, they often detract from the listener’s ability to understand a particular message.

There are two places where filler words commonly appear: at the beginning of a statement and in between ideas. See what happens the next time you answer a question. You might say “um” or “uh” right away without even thinking. Then when you are finished discussing your first idea, you may be tempted to use another filler word as you decide what to say next.

You can think of these two “filler word hot spots” in the context of a two paragraph essay. The first hot spot would be the tab before the first paragraph, and the second hot spot would be the white space between the first and second paragraphs.

When you use a filler word such as “um,” you are thinking verbally. In other words, you are verbalizing your thought process. Armed with this information, it is easy to realize that the best way to avoid using filler words is to pause. If you are not speaking, you can’t say “um”!

Removing “um” from your vocabulary

The next time you are asked a question, take a couple seconds to think about what you want to say. This pause serves two important purposes: it will help you begin powerfully, and it will help you avoid using a filler word. Pause, think, answer.

The same public speaking technique applies when you are transitioning from one idea to another. While you may be tempted to fill the silence between ideas with a filler word, remember to pause and give yourself a moment to think about what you want to say next. It is important that you don’t begin speaking until you are ready. Remember: Pause, think, answer.

It may feel unnatural to pause, especially since you have responded to questions right away for your entire life. I assure you that you will deliver more powerful responses and reduce your chance of using filler words if you give yourself time to think.

Can’t seem to shake the habit? Ask for help.

If you need help overcoming your “um” problem, consider asking a co-worker, family member, or friend to point out when you use filler words. You also could record an upcoming presentation and then watch yourself in action. You may be amazed at how often you say “um” or “uh”!

Although we live in a fast-paced society that seemingly demands instant answers, we must use the pause to our advantage. We may feel pressure to answer right away, but ultimately, we should only speak when we are ready.

Do you agree? I would like to hear what you think so leave a comment. But, please, don’t use any “ums.”

Apr 19, 2013

Reader Darren wrote in to ask, "When and why did people start saying um when they are talking?"

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the speech hesitation "hum" goes at least as far back as 1469. We also find "hem" from 1526, "haw" from 1679, and "er" from 1862. But these are only the first attestations of the words in print. It is likely that they go back much further than that.

Michael Erard, in his book Um...: Slips, Stumbles, and Verbal Blunders, and What They Mean, traces the history of um, and doesn't find any mention of it—or its ancient Greek or Latin equivalent—in classical works on oration, though there is plenty of advice against speaking with hesitancy or lack of fluency. It doesn't appear in court transcripts, or other written records of natural conversation either, until the modern era. With a few exceptions, people didn't really start talking about um, or complaining about it, until the advent of voice recording. It is likely they were using it all along, but they either didn't notice it, or didn't deem it worthy of writing down—it wasn't considered a word, but a noise, like a cough.

Every language has its own version of um. French has euh, Korean eum, Finnish öö, Russian eh; even sign languages have signs for um. The fact that most languages have some kind of um suggests that it serves a natural and important language function.

So what is this important language function? Why do people say um? Not because they are nervous. Scholarly studies of the word reveal that the use of um does not correlate with anxiousness or any particular personality traits. Rather, um is used to signal an upcoming pause—usually uh for a short pause and um for a longer pause. The pause may be needed in order to find the right word, remember something temporarily forgotten, or repair a mistake. Um holds the floor for us while we do our mental work. It buys some time for thinking.

It was the night before TEDx Perth 2013. Speakers I had coached were in UWA’s Octagon Theatre for dress rehearsal. You probably know that TEDx speakers put in incredible effort to develop these talks. The audience feels like they are hearing someone speak eloquently off the cuff, but that's thanks to weeks of preparation and rehearsal.

A sports psychologist I worked with that year had worked very hard. He had incredible content about the mind of professional athletes. But he said ‘um’ every 10 seconds.

Literally.

This was the night before kick-off.

Overnight, Martin Hagger coached himself out of Um. His talk has been viewed over one million times.

We say um to fill what we think is uncomfortable silence.

I see speakers say “um” after a joke, something controversial or very personal. It happens in formal settings and everyday conversation. “Um” is an attempt to avoid silence. If a joke lands poorly and we keep talking, perhaps the audience won’t be able to tell that no one laughed. (Now that I’ve pointed it out you will start to see it everywhere too!)

A pause for you as the speaker is unfathomably long.

For the audience it’s breathing space.

When you say something profound, the nano-second afterwards can feel like a chasm. You’ve just given away something deeply personal: what if they don’t respond? Almost every speaker I work with is scared they will forget their words and they will be shamed. So, at the slightest hint of pause, they keep talking. But actually, the quarter second you are silent, is barely enough for your audience to take in what you are saying.

By saying um we take away the audience’s opportunity to digest our words - and respond.

Ironically, when you say “Um” and keep talking, you make it really hard for the audience to respond, with laughter or even just an internal “Aha” moment. Did you know that getting a laugh is often less about what you say, and more about timing?

Cue your audience to your respond

Think about a circus show where the performer makes a flourish, or holds a pose. You know it’s time to applaud. When you’ve been holding your breath throughout a moment of suspense and the performer finally releases the tension - you can’t help but belly laugh with the breath out.

Um is never just about Um

Training yourself out of um is more than just not saying it. It’s coming to terms with the awkardness of silence, and the fear you won’t be taken seriously The good thing is, you can work through it and train yourself out of um overnight. Good luck!

Rachael West is a strategic speaker coach, facilitator and social entrepreneur. She loves helping engineers, scientists and people with something important to tell the world, craft a meaningful, engaging presentation they can use again and again to help their field shine. More tips for being a great speaker at rachaelwest.com.au.