When a man compares you to his ex

You’re smitten with your new boyfriend, and he’s almost perfect in your eyes — there’s just one minor problem. You have a hunch that he may not be over his ex. Sometimes you wonder if it’s all in your head, but other times you suspect that there may be a method to your madness. Instead of pushing your thoughts aside for a rainy day, pay some closer attention to his actions in order to find out whether or not your suspicions have any validation. Here are some tell-tale signs that your beau is still pining for his ex — meaning, you’d be doing yourself a favor to call it quits or confront him before you find yourself in a serious dating dilemma.

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1. When your date takes place somewhere he previously visited with his ex.
Why is my boyfriend comparing me to his ex?
How to avoid conversations about his ex girlfriend?
How to make my boyfriend forget about his ex?
In summary – My boyfriend compares me to his ex

If he…

1. Constantly brings her up in conversation
This is obvious sign #1. If he’s talking about her all the time, then clearly he still has feelings for the girl. Even if he speaks about her in a negative way, the fact of the matter is that the thought of her is still fresh in his mind.

2. Compares her to you
If your new boyfriend starts to compare you to his ex, this is a sign that he may not be over her just yet. At first, you may be able to shrug this off with little to no problem, but after a while (if it continues) it’ll be annoying to hear time and time again — not to mention, it’s just not fair to you. Take this as a sign that he has unresolved feelings for his ex and get out.

3. Continues to hang out with her
Your beau insists on hanging out with his ex — frequently. You put up with it because you don’t want to be that girlfriend who creates annoying rules and restrictions for her man, but if you let him walk all over you, you’ll be doing yourself and the relationship a major disservice. Don’t be a pushover; stand up for yourself and voice your opinion if you find it inappropriate for him to constantly spend time with her when he has you too. If he gets defensive about the situation, then he’s just not over his ex. Period.

4. Routinely calls her
Calling his ex routinely is not as bad as hanging out with her frequently, but usually, one leads to the other — and besides, what could these two possibly have to talk about? Again, call him out on it and find out what the deal is before they start having “strictly platonic” sleepovers.

5. Accidentally calls you by her name…
This one is definitely never a good sign, but we’ll give him one get-out-of-jail-free card if the relationship is still new and he’s fresh out of a breakup. BUT, if this happens more than once and he doesn’t profusely apologize for his mistake, don’t let him off the hook so easily. That sting you feel when he mistakes your name for hers is not acceptable and you might want to rethink the relationship.

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6. Holds onto memorabilia from his past relationship
As you get more comfortable in your new relationship, you start to rummage through his apartment only to find little trinkets and gifts from his ex. When you ask him about it and he retorts back with something along the lines of “Oh, I just can’t get rid of that, it kind of holds sentimental value…” then a little red flag should immediately pop into your head. If, however, your guy is the extra sensitive type and he hasn’t committed any of the aforementioned sins, you may still be in the clear.

7. Listens to morbid breakup music…
If your guy insists on listening to morbid music that suggests breaking up anywhere in the lyrics, then it might be a subtle sign that he’s still clinging on to his past relationship — either that, or he’s just plain depressed. Maybe you even caught him playing “their song” on repeat one day in his room. Trust us, this is never a good sign.

8. Brings you to places that remind him of her…
If you thought that place by the tree in the park with the heart engraved on it was your special new spot, think again. Ask him why he constantly takes you to the same specific places. If he’s repeating locations that he and his ex used to frequent, he may be taking you there because it brings back fond memories — that don’t involve you.

9. He’s annoyed that she’s dating someone…
Your boy announces that his ex is in a new relationship and expresses his discontent and disgust at the thought of the idea. Well, news flash! He’s in a new relationship too — and it’s with you — so he should have no reason to fret. Remind him of this important detail, but not before you take note of this definite red flag.

10. He keeps pictures of her…
Lastly, to top off all of his other unacceptable behavior, you discover that for some unknown reason, he still keeps pictures of his ex. It doesn’t matter if they are hidden in his wallet, or out in the open, or even still plastered all over his Facebook page — this will only make you feel uncomfortable and will provide a constant reminder of her presence. This is by far one of the most unnecessary things a guy can do. Either he’s completely oblivious to the fact that he still has images of her lying around (we doubt this) or he’s still infatuated with her. We suggest you start planning your escape — and if naked pictures surface on his phone, exit immediately.

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It’s not the best feeling in the world to discover that your boyfriend has been comparing you to his ex-girlfriend. On the other hand, there’re certain moments when he can’t help strolling down memory lane and reminiscing over how things were with his ex. So, what exactly are these moments? We asked single men ranging in age from their late teens to their late 20s to discover what triggers his mind into recalling his past.

1. When your date takes place somewhere he previously visited with his ex.

“If I’ve been there with my ex, I can’t help recalling the event,” a young man in his late teens explains. You can’t keep avoiding all the places he went to with his ex, but visiting the same place and engaging in the same activities is going to remind him of his past. If he’s particularly knowledgeable about the location, gently persuade him to put the past behind him and open a new chapter in his life with you. “I see you’ve been here before, but let’s make a new memory with me in it!”

Have you ever heard something weird from your boyfriend about his ex? Maybe it will be weird for you but about 60% of people who are in close relationships tend to avoid talking about their past relationships, so normal questions about ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend never show up. Maybe you are on that lower side of the problem and you have heard many things about his ex girlfriends, but the worst-case scenario will be if your problem is “My boyfriend compares me to his ex”.

It’s weird talking about his ex girlfriend but being compared to her is on a totally different level, and that is our topic. We will show you the statistics about “being compared to his ex girlfriend”, also with tips to prevent any conversation that is related to his ex girlfriend, and maybe we will make her disappear from your life completely, so if you want to know more and you want to free yourself from that third unwanted person in your relationship then stay with us.

My boyfriend compares me to his ex

Why is my boyfriend comparing me to his ex?

There are many reasons why he’s still doing that even after they broke up but the most common are:

He’s still feeling something to her
He thinks that she was doing something better than you
He wants to make the best out of you, by showing you what he liked about her
He simply can’t forget about her

Those things are all connected by “he wants you to be more like her“. That can make you angry but that’s the reality, and maybe not everything similar to her ex, but only things that he liked about her the most.

It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because if you think about it for a moment then you will realize “why not?”. If there is something that he liked about her then making it similarly but better than she did is going to make him forget about her faster.

Also, he’s showing you that he’s the perfect version of a girlfriend, so if you really love him then he will give you a lot of hints on how to become his dream girl. Not every comment about his ex-girlfriend is bad for your relationship, try to make the most out of it.

How to avoid conversations about his ex girlfriend?

If you feel annoyed whenever his ex girlfriend is mentioned, then we have a solution for you. It’s not easy to avoid conversations about his ex, so maybe don’t avoid them and try to lead the conversation to something good for you and your boyfriend.

For example, if he says “My ex weighed 10 pounds less than you” and for that, you can respond with “Oh maybe we’ll start to jog together and then I will be able to lose 15 pounds, is that ok for you?” As you can see, you can try to manipulate the conversation for your benefit and quickly cut off that “ex girlfriend” from it.

If you just can’t stand when he’s mentioning his ex, and you have nightmares about his ex girlfriend, or you just simply don’t want to manipulate the conversation, then you should try to have an honest conversation with him about this issue. He finally picked you over her so it should mean something. Most of our daily problems can be easily fixed with conversations but somehow we don’t things this way. Remember to avoid any quarrels, and try to show him your point of view. That should let you avoid conversations about his ex

How to make my boyfriend forget about his ex?

It’s not going to be a simple task but it can be done. You have to know that those many years that they have spent together won’t simply disappear just like that. It takes time, but you can boost this process by giving you both something to replace those past moments.

If they have been on a mountain journey then do something bigger than that like going camping in mountains with a romantic night together.

With things like that, you will give him beautiful things to remember which will replace the old ones that he spent with his ex girlfriend. It’s gonna be hard and take months, or even years but if you really care about this relationship then maybe it’s worth trying? After some time you should be less compared to his ex girlfriend.

In summary – My boyfriend compares me to his ex

If you don’t want to be compared to his ex girlfriend, then there are a few things that you can do about it. If it makes you really angry then having an honest conversation is the quickest, but if you want the best results then try to replace his memories about ex with something greater, like going for a journey to another country, or romantic holidays, that will make him forget about his ex way faster.

If you don’t want to do any of the above then he should forget about her anyway, because when the time will pass his bond with you will be stronger, and with his ex will be weaker, so “Time heals wounds” is very accurate and can relate also to this topic. If you want to know more about Your ex then you should check out our new article “Should I Like My Ex Posts On Facebook? – (Things To Avoid)“