What would you do if your manager gave you negative feedback on the way you approached a problem?

Getting negative feedback is never easy—even if you know it’s coming. Even worse, being blindsided when you think you’re doing a great job can be a major confidence hit. But here’s the thing: Pretty much everyone gets constructive criticism at some point during their career. This included the most successful people you know.  In fact, the best managers are ones who are able to let you know in a friendly but firm way exactly how you can improve, take your work to the next level, and better manage your responsibilities. In a sense, getting negative feedback can actually be a good thing, even though it might not feel like it at the time. 

Here, we asked HR pros to tell us exactly how to handle the moments, days, and weeks after receiving negative feedback, plus how to take it all in stride.

1. Don’t take it personally.

Yes, you’ve probably heard this advice before, but there’s a reason for that. “Often, employees take negative feedback to mean their leader doesn't like them,” says Krishna Powell, executive coach and HR consultant. Most of the time, this is not the case at all. “Feedback is given because your leader sees you have the ability to do better, to become greater, or to master your skillset,” she notes. When you think of it that way, it’s actually sort of like a compliment. Of course, that doesn’t make it easier to hear, but focusing on the fact that your boss knows you can perform at a higher lever can help you see that negative feedback is actually not the worst thing in the world.

“The most important thing to remember is feedback gives the receiver power. Power to manage perceptions because feedback can tell you how people view you. Power to become better or stronger because feedback reveals your area of weakness. And feedback can give you power to control your career because it can redirect the path you're on.” It’s natural to be bummed out at first, but with some mental reframing, you can get to a much more positive place.

2. Make sure you’re totally clear on the issue.

Most managers don’t enjoy giving negative feedback, so a conversation about your performance that’s less than glowing might be on the shorter side. Add into that your potential emotional response, and there’s a lot of room for miscommunication. “Sometimes it's difficult to listen and to retain everything you hear in a meeting when your emotions may be off-kilter,” explains Jana Tulloch, C.P.H.R., HR Manager for Develop Intelligence.

This is a good opportunity to practice active listening to make sure you and your boss are understanding each other clearly. “Try restating the issue back to your manager to confirm you're on the same page about the issue and what is expected going forward. This provides an opportunity to clarify any misunderstandings, as well as ask any questions,” she says. The last thing you want is to be working away on correcting the wrong issue.

3. If you disagree, do so with tact.

It’s a common response to immediately feel defensive after receiving negative feedback, and the truth is that mistakes do happen. In feedback situations, however, they don’t happen that often, so it’s important to make sure you’re definitely being critiqued in error before saying that you believe the feedback you’re getting is wrong. First, be completely sure that you understand the feedback that’s been given and the reasoning behind it. If you’re confident that the negative feedback was given in error and you decide to say something about it, “it is imperative that you push back with diplomacy and tact,” says Tawanda Johnson, CEO of RKL Resources, a national Human Resources Consulting firm. “Supervisors are often juggling many hats and sometimes things fall through the cracks. They are human. Strong supervisors will own up to their mistakes and will thank the employee for bringing something to their attention.”

4. Show initiative ASAP.

If the feedback is not wrong, the best thing you can do moving forward is come up with a plan to fix the problem. Take initiative and show you care about improving. “If you want to continue to grow in your career, either within your current company or with another, you should respond back to your supervisor within a couple of days,” says Dorris Hollingsworth, President of Evergreen HR Group, an HR and business consulting firm in the Atlanta market. “Ideally, you will have some time to think about the feedback and identify one or two things you can do to address the issues raised.” For example, if you’ve been told you need to improve your communication style, then you might talk to a peer about how they communicate on their work projects and then compare that information to what you normally do. Then, share your findings with your boss. “Let your supervisor know that you have looked at other ways to communicate with a team and plan to adopt some of the methods in your work,” says Hollingsworth. “Lastly, put it into practice.”

5. Think about the long game.

It’s a good idea to follow up in a more long-term way, as well, since often it takes some work to make real change in habits. “After 30 to 60 days, I always recommend people follow up on the negative feedback they have received,” says Powell. “You should say something like, ‘I have given a great deal of thought to the feedback you have given me and I have made the following changes,’” she suggests. This shows that you took the feedback to heart and importantly, that you care about improving. Chances are, if you’re committed to making a change, some very positive feedback awaits in your next performance review.

Few people are immune to workplace criticism — and chances are, even corporate leaders and senior management will have to deal with this reality of professional life. But the trick to coping with this reality is to realise that even the most stinging critique can help you take your career to new heights.

Here are our top suggestions for using negative feedback to fuel your professional growth:

1. Don’t take your professional life personally 

No matter how invested you are in what you do, it pays to remember that you are not your job. It’s easy to take negative feedback related to your performance as a personal attack, but it’s healthier to acknowledge your emotions and put them aside.

Acknowledge that the negative feedback at work has left you feeling upset or frustrated; however, take the emotion out of the equation and try not to react defensively.

RELATED: How to deal with difficult conversations at work

Don’t beat yourself up about what happened, as it won’t do you any good to dwell on negativity. Maintain a good work-life balance and allow yourself time to relax and unwind at the end of a working day. Assessing the problem with a clear head will allow you to identify ways that you can move forward and improve.

2. Consider your colleague’s motivations 

Although a lot of workplace criticism is constructive and valid, there might be the rare case where the feedback is the product of someone’s ego, rather than a genuine attempt to help you improve in your job.

Think about what your co-worker or manager’s motivations might be. Do you really value their criticism? If your gut tells you that the comments are undeservedly harsh or not constructive, take a deep breath and let it go.

3. Recognise the need for improvement 

Sometimes, negative feedback can be painful because you know the comments contain an element of truth. Does your time management truly need work? Could your communication skills do with some developing? In our experience, constructive criticism can help turn you into a star performer at work.

Be mindful of building your personal brand at work, promoting your positive attitude and receptiveness to criticism, and showing that you can take negative feedback – and thank the person for their insight.

Acknowledge your past mistakes and challenge yourself to do better next time. If you can understand what the cause of the negative feedback at work was, you have the opportunity to prevent it. Ask yourself why you received the negative feedback, and if it is true, what you need to do to make a change.

Take note of the points of criticism that are useful to you and figure out how use them to your advantage. Write down a list of specific goals and what you need to do to achieve them. Recognise your areas of development and commit to improving upon them in the future.

 4. Develop your emotional intelligence 

Emotional intelligence (EQ) refers to the ability to recognise and effectively manage your colleagues’ workplace behaviours, and is an important factor in workplace success.

Though it’s difficult, it is important to push yourself to be positive about the criticism and maintain respect for all parties. Listen to what the person is saying and really try to understand where it is that they’re coming from. Your best course of action is to ask your manager for examples of the issue and actionable suggestions about how you could rectify the situation. Be ready to hear and accept your weaknesses.

Use your emotional intelligence when dealing with negative feedback at work and remember that no matter how criticism may make you feel, defensive reactions won’t serve you well. Keeping a calm head will prove to your manager that you take their concerns seriously and are prepared to use them to help you move forward.

5. Learn your lessons 

Once you’ve made a concerted effort to fix the issue or put strategies for improvement in place, it’s time put the negative feedback in the past and do your best to move on. Carrying criticism with you can make you feel resentful and create barriers to your professional growth.

Remember to take criticism seriously, rather than personally. Take manageable steps to improve, understanding the weaknesses that might be leading to negative feedback at work. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the negativity; instead, create actionable steps that will help you feel positive about your path to improvement.

For more professional career advice, read our career hub articles here.