Chances are, you've observed your baby or toddler at playgroup or a family get-together where there are other kids around — and noticed that, unlike the full-on interaction he shares with you or his older siblings, he probably doesn't actually play with other kids his age. Instead, he's content to sit alongside a potential pal, seemingly ignoring him or her, while they both sort shapes, play with cars or chew whatever they can get their hands on. Show
This form of fun is called parallel play. And even though it might not seem all that interactive, it has an important role in your child’s social development. What is parallel play?Parallel play is a type of play where children play next to or near each other, but not with each other. It’s the default mode of play for babies and toddlers, who haven’t yet developed the awareness or skills to play socially with others. In parallel play, a baby or toddler is mostly in his own world — and his surrounding playmates are just as involved in their own. Babies in a playgroup might sit near each other, for instance, each mouthing their own soft block or teething toy. Two toddlers might be working in a play kitchen, each making their own culinary creation with minimal (or zero) input from the other. Parallel vs. solitary play: What's the difference?Solitary and parallel play are two distinct and developmentally normal stages of play. Solitary play happens when a child plays completely on his own. During parallel play, multiple children play in close proximity without much engagement. A child engaging in solitary play might be keeping himself occupied in his play area by building a block tower, for instance. These kinds of solo activities give tots a chance to explore without distraction and build new skills. In parallel play, a child might be in a room with other children, each of whom are building their own block tower. Even though the child is still doing his own activity, being around others can give him new ideas about how to play with his blocks and sets the stage for more interactive forms of play. Why is parallel play important?Even though a child engaged in parallel play isn’t interacting with his mates, he’s still learning from them. As he plays, your child is (slyly, shyly) observing his companion. He takes note of what his pal is doing, even if he doesn't show it at first. Eventually, he'll begin to imitate what he sees his friends doing. And for now, this "peer pressure" is a good thing; it opens your baby's mind to new possibilities for play and may eventually help him learn new words, too. Parallel play is also a precursor to more communal forms of fun and games. Doing the same activity side-by-side introduces babies and toddlers to the idea of socializing with others — setting the stage for playing cooperatively. How do you help your toddler with parallel play?Playing side-by-side is a natural part of your child’s social evolution. You can give him the chance to practice — and continue to advance his peer-to-peer skills — by offering opportunities to play with others. If your baby or toddler is in day care, he’s likely already engaging in parallel play every day. If he’s at home, take advantage of other ways to socialize: Try setting up some playdates with similarly aged kids, arrange for a neighborhood park or playground meet up, or sign up for a mommy-and-me class. (If your tot seems tentative, don’t push him. Just let him get involved at his own pace.) As your baby or toddler plays alongside his pals, resist the urge to hover too much. Let the kids keep themselves busy. Expect minor disagreements over toys — sharing is a struggle for young toddlers — but try to sit back and see if the tots can work things out on their own. If the situation starts to get really heated, step in, but resist the urge to scold or shame your child if he’s having a hard time sharing. He’ll learn more by seeing you help him model positive sharing behavior compared to being punished. (Though it might take some time.) Parallel play and your child’s developmentParallel play is a precursor to play where children engage directly with one another. Even though it might seem a little antisocial, it's par for the developmental course for babies and toddlers. Why? Because young children are still busy figuring out so much about the world and don't yet realize that people their own size are indeed people (who might actually be fun to do stuff with). At this age, your child is too young to make friends, but companionable side-by-side play is a good start. If he frequently spends time with the same group of babies, he may even seek out a special few to sit alongside more frequently. What’s more, these together-but-separate play sessions are laying the foundation for more social interactions to come. Even in parallel play, your little one will start to learn that his companions have thoughts and feelings just like him. And he’ll come to respond accordingly — for instance, crying if he sees that a playmate hit her head and is also crying. As your child reaches preschool age, his play sessions will start to morph into interactions that involve coming up with new ideas or games, taking turns, sharing and showing empathy for others. And by the time he’s 4 or 5, he’ll start to form his first real friendships and develop preferences for who he plays with. Though it might not seem like much socializing is actually going on, parallel play is your child’s first step towards learning to interact with his peers. All you have to do is give him chances to play and explore around other kids his own age — so plan those play dates!Parallel play is very important for the 2½- 3 year old age range as it helps children to learn peer regulation, observation skills, working with and getting along with others as well as working independently. Parallel play is not only normal, it’s an important first step in learning how to interact with others. Parallel play is a play stage that they will go through where children are near each other but not playing with each other. This play stage is generally from 2-3 years of age. For example, if there were two 18month olds with similar toys near each other in the same room, you’ll see that they don’t seem to pay much attention to each other, but they have noticed each other just are not at the stage to play ‘together’. Unlike older children, who interact and communicate directly, toddlers play alongside one another. While they may appear to be playing independently, kids this age are keeping an eye on each other. They like being part of a group, but they are still egocentric, so they don’t necessarily interact. Parallel play is often a first step in forming strong social relationships outside of the family. You may notice that a child may be engaged in similar activities or totally different activities to children around them but they like being around others their own age. Whilst it may appear that they don’t care about the presence of the other children their presence is key to this stage and their development. Additionally, just try separating them and you will see this contact from a far is very important to them. The key element of parallel play is children play side-by-side, and watch and listen to each other. It is a vital part of the socialization process. At this age they are interested in the same toys and both see the toys as belonging to theme. Positives of parallel play
Parallel play’ (playing along side) is followed by ‘associative play’ – children are still playing independently but often do the same thing as other children – at around 3 or 4 years of age.
The stages of play in early childhood follow a logical pattern. This pattern is best explained by Mildred Parler’s thesis on the six stages of play. Parler’s stages of Play OutlinedParlers six stages of play covers the stages of play that a child progresses through in their first five years of life. The child will progress through these stages lineally at their own pace. The six stages are unoccupied play, solitary play, onlooker play, parallel play, associative play and cooperative play. The 6 Stages of PlayPlay can be structured or unstructured, play simply involves any activity that the child perceives to be fun. Play helps to learn and develop essential skills that they will utilise throughout their lifetime. The six stages of play explained are: Unoccupied Play (0-3 months)At this stage the child is coming to terms with their environment and observing the world. Play begins as they move their arms and legs without any real purpose. Unoccupied play may include such activities as picking up and shaking toys or striking at a play mobile. Solitary Play (0-2 years)This stage of play involves the child focusing on a specific activity and shows little or no interest in what others may or may not be doing. While solitary play is a progression through Parten’s stages of play, it remains a normal part of older children’s and even adults play cycles. Solitary play may be observable when a child demonstrates an ability to focus on one toy for more than a minute. Onlooker Play (2 years)Is perhaps the first sign of a child’s interest in socialisation emerging. As the term suggests, the child takes on the role of observer of other children playing. They will often move closer to other children in order to listen and watch, but at this stage they have not developed the confidence or social skills to interact with others. Listening and watching are natural forms of learning and the child is learning how to interact with others through observation. Parallel Play (2-3 years)Parallel play often involves the child mimicking another’s play activities and usually within close proximity to them. At this stage, children will often share resources while keeping some distance between each other. They are still very much acting independently but will actively observe and mimic. There is still very little direct communication at this stage but this needs to be a natural precursor to the next level of Parten stages of play – Associative Play. Associate Play (2-3 years)Associate play is a natural progression from parallel play with children now prepared to acknowledge and interact with each other. While children in this phase are happy to share resources and acknowledge each other, they still largely operate on an individual level with individual play goals. At this stage children will ask questions about each other’s play and willingly negotiate sharing of resources. They are still primarily focused on their own goals and are comfortable working side by side on their own individual tasks. Cooperative Play (4-6 years)Cooperative play is the logical extension of associative play as children become more confident and socially interactive. During this stage, children engage in what could be described as “full play,” where common goals are shared within a game. Roles are often assigned and swapped as the game progresses. Cooperative play helps children to develop socially, although there will be hurdles to overcome along the way as they learn such values as sharing, taking turns and compromise. There are many examples of cooperative play, some prime ones being organised sports, role playing activities where children can unleash their imagination and board games Cooperative play is seen as a key factor in developing social interaction as it presents opportunities to see different perspectives and review existing ideas. Evaluating Parten’s Stages of PlayThe six stages of play allow educators and carers to evaluate stages of play in early childhood against an accepted framework. Importantly from an educational perspective, the theory acknowledges the importance of social interaction and recognises that different types of play are critical in assisting in development. Educators can reference the theory and structure play activities accordingly. However, there has been some criticism of the theory on the following rounds. The theory does not account for such play as risky play, symbolic play or imaginative play. Furthermore, the age ranges specified in the theory appear to be somewhat arbitrary and have been labelled inaccurate. The theory, its stages and age profiles can cause parents to become alarmed when their child’s play isn’t necessarily matching a specific play stage. Generally, though Parten’s 6 stages of play; play is considered to be a useful tool in helping to track a child’s progress towards social interaction and engagement. |