How do I stop saying um when talking?

By Rosemary Ravinal

How often do you use these word whiskers and phrases in your public speaking and presentations?

Um. Ah. Well. I mean. You know. Like. Absolutely.

Whether on Zoom or in person, it is easy to lean on filler words or word whiskers, as they are often known. They become verbal crutches that we use either consciously or unconsciously when we are nervous, get rattled or are not sure about what we are saying.  They take up valuable time, cloud the meaning of what we want to say, and diminish our credibility.

Here are some steps on how to eliminate these pesky word whiskers.

Have you ever listened to a recording of yourself speak?

It’s one of the most horrifying experiences any human has to endure. Invariably, the sound of our own voice makes us cringe. But then, once you get past that, you realize how many times you said “um” or “err” or “you know” and are left emotionally devastated.

It’s okay, most people have a verbal tic of some kind. But the absolute best speakers – think newscasters, politicians, titans of industry – are so influential partially because they speak clearly and effectively, without all those fillers.

So, will eliminating “um” and “err” forever change your life? No. But it will make you a more persuasive, more effective speaker.

So how do you avoid those verbal tics?

You can’t just will yourself out of these verbal tics (in fact, putting pressure on yourself like that will likely make the problem worse). In her LinkedIn Learning course Public Speaking Foundations, Professional Speaker Laura Bergells dedicated an entire lesson to this exact problem, offering a solution that'll actually work. 

According to Bergells, there are three general ways to reduce these filler words. They are:

People use more filler words when they are nervous. Realize when you are public speaking, your life isn’t in danger, nobody is going to get hurt; it’s just talking.

Also, if you catch yourself using a few “ums” or “errs”, it's not big deal. Almost everyone uses them and they mostly go unnoticed. Just tell yourself that’s your last “um” of the day, smile, and move on.

The more prepared you are, the less you’ll use filler words, as this will help you relax. But people also “um” and “err” a lot of if they aren’t sure what they are going to say.

The best speakers know exactly what they are going to say and rehearse it to themselves. If you think rehearsing a presentation to yourself is silly, well, it’s a lot less silly than looking stumped in front of a group of people.

When people read off a list or bullet points, they have a tendency to say “um” before each new point. So don’t just read a list to your audience, something that’s common when doing a PowerPoint presentation (plus, it’s not exactly the most exciting experience either).

Instead, tell stories, rather than read off slides. When you are telling a story, you’ll use far less filler words and be far more engaging to your audience.

Want to go further? Record yourself speak.

Those are three general rules for removing “ums” and “errs”. If you really want to get good, Bergells recommends recording yourself speak.

When playing it back, listen for the circumstances you use “ums” and “errs”. If you are aware of those circumstances, it makes it easier to avoid them moving forward.

Also, when you are listening to yourself, don’t beat yourself up for each filler noise you hear. Again, almost everyone uses them when they speak and they mostly go unnoticed. Understand that with practice you might not eliminate them completely, but you can reduce them substantially.

*Image from Johannes Jansson, Wikipedia Commons

Want to learn more? Watch Laura Bergells full course, Public Speaking Foundations.

Other LinkedIn Learning courses you might be interested in are:

In his entertaining book Um ... Slips, Stumbles and Verbal Blunders and What They Mean, linguist and author Michael Errard traces the history of um and uh and doesn't find a mention of it.  He notes that it's a recent phenomenon (probably due to the invention of the radio) and that most fillers go unnoticed, despite our disdain for them.

So why do we use filler words, like uh and um? It's generally not because of nerves.  Stephen D. Cohen, an award-winning public speaker believes it's because we're conditioned to answer questions immediately from an early age.  When asked something by parents or teachers we responded straight away out of respect or fear of reprisals.  Now we feel the urge to speak when spoken to - even if we have nothing to say.

We typically use fillers when we're:

• searching for the right word
• trying to remember something we've forgotten
• transitioning to a new idea
• signalling that your sentence isn't finished.

Some studies show that we use "um" to signal longer pauses, and "uh" to signify shorter ones. Linguist Mark Liberman believes that we say "um" when we're trying to decide what to say, and "uh" when we're trying to decide how to say it.

If you don't think you say "um" or "uh", it's possible you may have your own unique filler word.  Listen out for it.  For example, I've  noticed a lot of people say "so" instead of "uh" or "um".

Filler words are fine for personal interactions and day-to-day conversations but don't belong in formal presentations.  They can detract from the listener’s ability to understand your message.

Here are some tips on how to stop saying um when speaking and banish filler words from your vocabulary.  Practice makes perfect so don't give up if you find you keep saying um when speaking. Rome wasn't built in a day.

• Be prepared. Know your presentation and your content inside and out.  You don't need to memorise it verbatim.  In fact, it's better you don't.  Your presentation may not be as engaging and you might come undone if you forget a chunk of text.
• Rehearse. Read your presentation or your notes out loud.
• Don't fill the silence. Take a deep breath instead and use those few seconds to think about what you're going to say.
• Put it on paper. Fillers like um and uh are most common at the beginning of a statement or when introducing new ideas.  Write down what you are going to say when you segue.
• Slow down. Speaking more slowly will allow your brain and words to get in synch.
• Record yourself. How often do you use filler words and when?  Are you saying um when speaking or do you have your own filler word? It might help you catch yourself using them next time.

It is difficult for me to watch political speeches. After all, I know that I am going to hear one alarming word over and over again. It’s not “debt,” “deficit,” or “downturn.” It’s “um.”

Filler words like “um” may seem natural in everyday speech, but they do not belong in formal presentations or speeches. Powerful public speakers work hard to eliminate words such as “um,” “uh,” “well,” “so,” “you know,” “er,” and “like” from their vocabulary so that their listeners can focus solely on their message. Through practice and persistence, you can too.

So, like, why am I saying “um”?

Why do we use filler words? The simplest answer is that we have been conditioned to answer questions immediately from an early age. When our mother or father asked us a question, we were sure to answer right away—either because we wanted to show respect or because we were afraid of what would happen if we didn’t answer. Consequently, we feel the urge to speak when spoken to.

Some people argue that filler words serve an important purpose such as making a speaker sound more “natural” or “real.” In fact, Michael Erard wrote a book on this very subject. But just because filler words are fairly common in everyday speech does not mean that they are useful. In fact, they often detract from the listener’s ability to understand a particular message.

There are two places where filler words commonly appear: at the beginning of a statement and in between ideas. See what happens the next time you answer a question. You might say “um” or “uh” right away without even thinking. Then when you are finished discussing your first idea, you may be tempted to use another filler word as you decide what to say next.

You can think of these two “filler word hot spots” in the context of a two paragraph essay. The first hot spot would be the tab before the first paragraph, and the second hot spot would be the white space between the first and second paragraphs.

When you use a filler word such as “um,” you are thinking verbally. In other words, you are verbalizing your thought process. Armed with this information, it is easy to realize that the best way to avoid using filler words is to pause. If you are not speaking, you can’t say “um”!

Removing “um” from your vocabulary

The next time you are asked a question, take a couple seconds to think about what you want to say. This pause serves two important purposes: it will help you begin powerfully, and it will help you avoid using a filler word. Pause, think, answer.

The same public speaking technique applies when you are transitioning from one idea to another. While you may be tempted to fill the silence between ideas with a filler word, remember to pause and give yourself a moment to think about what you want to say next. It is important that you don’t begin speaking until you are ready. Remember: Pause, think, answer.

It may feel unnatural to pause, especially since you have responded to questions right away for your entire life. I assure you that you will deliver more powerful responses and reduce your chance of using filler words if you give yourself time to think.

Can’t seem to shake the habit? Ask for help.

If you need help overcoming your “um” problem, consider asking a co-worker, family member, or friend to point out when you use filler words. You also could record an upcoming presentation and then watch yourself in action. You may be amazed at how often you say “um” or “uh”!

Although we live in a fast-paced society that seemingly demands instant answers, we must use the pause to our advantage. We may feel pressure to answer right away, but ultimately, we should only speak when we are ready.

Do you agree? I would like to hear what you think so leave a comment. But, please, don’t use any “ums.”