Why are black people so annoying

Society doesn't even get to know us before they make judgements of our personalities and characters. They think they know us by judging us by our brown, to them our skin paints our whole story and they don't feel the need to learn more.

People have an inherent tendency to live off and prescribe to dated racist stereotypes about Black women's characters before getting to know us. There are countless examples of tropes and stereotypes that have been designed to silence, oppress and limit us, and society has absorbed these as the norm. This is dangerous as it perpetuates the notion that we are lowly and not deserving of the equal respect our counterparts receive.

These assumptions are old, and quite honestly annoying. Why do Black women have to continue to experience being judged before even saying a word? Because of these assumptions we are restricted in the workplace, discriminated against in schools and colleges, and in everyday life.

Society needs to unlearn assuming what we are, and what we are capable of. Black women's worth is not a socially determined prop. We should not be evaluated by assumptions in the first place nor denied respect in society because of assumptions.

Growing up I always heard the harmful rhetoric that Black women are unapproachable and can't resolve conflict because we always catch “an attitude”. We are said to catch “an attitude” when we express how we feel, when we are unhappy and when we've been hurt. Our attitude is characterised by society as; sucking our teeth, clicking our fingers and always wanting to start fights unprovoked.

I don't know where society got the idea that there are masses of Black women who want to fight and get into altercations because of our “attitude”. The Black women I have met and known are calm, approachable and don't get annoyed any chance they get. And when they have been wronged, why are they not allowed to express their frustration like their other counterparts?

This assumption heavily stems from the media's favourite angry Black woman trope. The trope comes from 19th Century America minstrel shows that used mockery of Black people through racist stereotypes as comedic relief. Minstrel shows still have a great effect on how much respect Black people receive as they influenced how society values our worth and place in society.

So, the “attitude” notion comes from a place of trying to deny Black women any emotional respect because to society we are constantly angry and will take any chance we get to be the big bad monster. Obviously, we know that Black women are human beings that do have the right to get angry when we are hurt just like anybody else, though when we are angry we are policed for emotions. To society, Black women must always be strong and not show any emotion and anger is one of them.

To oppress us society slaps the attitude label onto us to silence our pain and our truth. Society should ask itself why it's okay with other members of society having an attitude and not a Black woman?

We are not made of steel, and we don't have hearts that don't have feelings. I wish society made a greater effort to really protect Black women's emotions and feelings. We have been dehumanised to the extent where our wellbeing is brushed over and not seen as important and as a priority.

The fact of the matter is, that Black women have emotions and we do feel pain. Growing up I always felt that my emotions were not important valid and worthy enough because I had to cater to others' comfortability. Teachers always believed my white classmates before they believed me, their tears were more trustworthy than the ones coming out of my brown pupils dripping down my brown skin.

It just goes to show how Black people's emotions are deduced to nothing because society shows us such little respect. Society has to see us as a whole for them to start respecting how we feel, we deserve that.

I once had a white classmate ask me why I always wore my hair in braids and other protective hairstyles. She said she assumed it was because I didn't like how my hair looked when it was out naturally. Before I could even answer and tell her why my hair was in braids, she put words into my mouth and said it was because I didn't like my real hair.

I felt deflated at that moment, before I could even speak for myself she made an assumption, and that it is what is damaging this society. Black women's stories are silenced because we are talked for and decided for. Let us speak.

I told her that I don't hate my hair and that I love my hair. I put it in braids cause I want to protect it. Black women's hair should not be policed and answered for, how dare you insult my hair and the existence of my people by assuming that I hate it. To you, I hate it because it does not match the supposed superiority of your straight hair.

Similar to this, across social media, Black women show their wigs and there is nothing wrong with that. We should not be berated for wearing our hair the way we want. Wigs are also a protective style, they are creative and flexible, why is that such a problem for people?

People go on about how we wear wigs because we want to look white and that we do it because we hate our hair underneath. And that is not the case we do not hate our hair underneath and we definitely don't want to look white, it's just another hairstyle for us. Let us be.

“I love some chocolate.”

“I don't usually date Black women, but you are an exception.”

“You have good hair.”

This is not flattering, it's downright disrespectful and disgusting. Some time ago, I wrote about racial preferences and fetishism. I discussed how comments like these are dehumanising and they shouldn’t be taken as compliments as it reduces the person to an object that is being exotified.

Discriminating within the race of Black woman is not a compliment, saying that someone is an exception or hybrid is rude because it implies that everyone else within that group has an issue/ are not worthy.

So why should we be flattered by your assumption that we enjoy your colourism, featurism and texture?

Though there is some truth to this assumption, Black women are not responsible for it. Because of white supremacy, colonialism and imperialism Black women have felt less than in their Blackness. For me personally, attending PWI's made me want to aspire to be white because my self-esteem was plummeted by racist remarks from my white counterparts in school.

Society must realise that this aspiration is a side-effect of white supremacy, and Black people never asked to be in this situation. We did not want to be ripped from our homes, have our culture taken away, and be displaced.

Society should take responsibility for making whiteness the ideal, when it is not, it is a construct, when will society finally understand that and stop assuming so?

Now, Black women love themselves and are learning to love themselves, so please don't assume we want to be white or close to it; we are healing.

To move forward, society should listen to us, respect us and value us. We are not seen as whole people, so society lives off these very inaccurate assumptions about us and our existence. Assumptions can be dangerous as they paint narratives that suit the control of the privileged.

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