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Being a new parent can be an exhilarating — and challenging — experience.
The seemingly never-ending diaper changes, the 3 a.m. feedings, and the fears of doing the wrong thing can take a toll.
So it’s no surprise that when your tiny new human first smiles back at you, those struggles melt away in light of the joy you feel seeing that beaming face.
“All of those sleepless nights suddenly feel worth it,” says Dr. Brittany Odom, pediatrician in Orlando, Florida.
Newborns can actually smile right from birth, but doctors call this a “reflexive” smile, which can be caused by internal factors. You may even notice your infant smiling as they sleep.
“Those early adorable smiles may be due to a variety of other reasons that make your baby happy, like passing stool, passing gas, or just generally being comfortable in your arms,” Odom said.
A true social smile, in which your infant is looking at and reacting to your expression, can happen anywhere from 2 to 3 months of age.
To tell the smiles apart, look for differences between a social and reflexive smile:
- Does baby look fully engaged?
- Do their eyes smile along with their mouth?
That’s how you can tell your little is responding to their surroundings — such as their parents or caregivers’ faces — and developing a sense of social awareness.
You may be wondering how to encourage your little one to smile. But you probably just need to continue doing what you’re doing. The recommendations are the same as before they were smiling:
- talk to them
- look at them
- smile at them
- sing to them
- play games like peekaboo
All of these things are good for baby’s development and emerging social skills.
Social smiling is not only joyful — it’s also an important part of your little one’s brain development. Baby is learning social cues, and how to get the attention of caregivers. They’ll make more eye contact and show interest in faces.
If your baby isn’t showing you their adorable smiles by 2 months old, there’s no need to worry, Odom says. “Every baby doesn’t follow the textbook, and some take up to 4 months to start smiling socially. Social smiling is a part of her social development, but not the only component.”
If you’re concerned about your baby not smiling, talk with your pediatrician about their development overall.
Smiling is just the beginning. In terms of language development, there are a ton of wonderful milestones to look forward to. Babies generally coo, or make sounds, at 6 to 8 weeks, and laugh at 16 weeks.
Then comes the sweet babbling around 6 to 9 months, where babies tend to repeat sounds like bababa. Enjoy these before the emphatic “No!” arrives at 6 to 11 months and becomes a favorite and mainstay in the toddler — and later, teenager — vocabulary.
Whether your baby smiles at exactly 6 weeks or not for several months, it’s important to remember not to panic if your baby isn’t reaching every milestone by the book. “Books provide guidelines only,” says Dr. Melissa Franckowiak, who practices in Buffalo, New York.
Franckowiak says that while development usually occurs from gross motor to fine motor, some babies prefer more fine motor or cognitive activities, or vice versa, so there may be some individual differences.
“Keep in mind that all children develop differently,” she said.
If months go by and you see more than one sign that your sweet babe isn’t engaging with you — such as not making eye contact — make an appointment with your pediatrician.
Believe it or not, your baby was probably smiling long before she was born. Babies can smile very early in life, even in utero, says Mark Gettleman, M.D., a pediatrician and owner of Dr. Goofy Gettwell Pediatrics in Scottsdale, Arizona. These first smiles aren't intentional or in response to anything. Instead, they're reflex smiles, similar to the jerky arm and leg movements your baby's body experiences as it goes through the equipment-testing process, Dr. Gettleman says.
Soon enough, though, your little cutie will flash her first "real" smile, which signals improvements in social, emotional, and visual development. Keep reading to learn more about when babies first smile, and how to encourage him to flash that adorable gummy grin.
Your baby's reflex smile will disappear by time she's 2 months old, and her first real one will make an appearance somewhere between one-and-a-half to 3 months (or 6 and 12 weeks) of life. You can tell the difference between a reflex and real smile by the timing and duration. Generally, reflex smiles tend to be shorter and occur randomly, when the baby is sleeping or tired. Real smiles, on the other hand, occur in response to something, like seeing her mama's face or hearing a sibling's high-pitched voice, and they are consistent, Dr. Gettleman explains. When it's the real deal, you will see the emotion expressed in your baby's eyes.
At first, your little guy's happy face will be in response to a mix of vocal and visual stimulation. Therefore, he may light up from watching you sing a favorite lullaby or talk him through a particularly yucky diaper change. Later, when his vision improves, simply seeing the face of his two favorite people (you and your partner!) will be enough to make him crack a smile. You'll be the recipient of most of your baby's smiles, but he'll also exchange grins with others (that is, until stranger anxiety kicks in at around 6 months).
As your baby gets more smiling practice and enjoyment from seeing people's reactions, he'll start adding sound effects, Dr. Gettleman says. "It will start with cooing at first, and then lead to small giggles and waves of giggling," he says. By 5 months, your babe may surprise you with full-out belly laughs and squeals of excitement.
When your baby smiles, it’s a sign that his vision has improved and he’s able to recognize your face. His brain and nervous system have matured enough to eliminate reflex smiles, and he's now aware that smiling lets him connect with others. Your little one is also beginning to realize his feelings matter and have a direct effect on the people around him. He'll smile to express pleasure, excitement, contentment, and happiness. Consider it his way of saying, "Hey, Mom, you're doing a good job!" or "This breast milk rocks! Please give me more."
Still waiting to see your baby's lips curl? Encourage her by talking to her often (make sure you give her time to "respond"), making eye contact frequently, and smiling at her throughout the day. And don’t be afraid to get silly: Making funny faces or noises, imitating animal sounds and behaviors, blowing raspberries on your baby's belly, or playing a game of peek-a-boo may push her smiley button on.
Be careful not to overdo it though. "Babies are developing the ability to regulate their emotions and may look away if they are getting too much stimulation," says child psychologist David Elkind, Ph.D., author of Parenting on the Go: Birth to Six, A to Z. Give your kiddo a little breather and try again later.
Once your baby does grin, he'll do it again and again. Why shouldn't he? When he graces you with a smile, your eyes brighten, you ooh and ahh, and you reciprocate with a beaming smile of your own. He digs that!
Though you're likely anxious to see your little darling's smile, a lack of early grins doesn't necessarily mean she's unhappy or that something is wrong. Babies will hit this milestone at different times, and some may need a few extra weeks. But if your baby isn't smiling by 3 months, mention it to your pediatrician.
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